This is my "To-Go" list (in beats per minute):

Flute:

Ibert - Concerto - 3 bpm
Feld - Sonate - 3 bpm

Clarinet:

McAllister - X - 41 bpm
Tomasi - Concerto - 30 bpm

Saxophone:

Lauba - Steady Study on the Boogie - 59 bpm
Albright - Sonata - 38 bpm

Bassoon:

Tansman - Sonatine - 54 bpm
Saint-Saens - Sonata - 62 bpm


Days until the first audition: 43

Ughhh, I passed up on another Cruise ship gig this afternoon... If it paid more than $30,000 a year I'd consider putting off school. I'd also take it in a heartbeat if I knew I could make money by fixing instruments and making double reeds in addition to the gig.

I'm going to make it a priority this year to learn how to do each of these things. I need to be able to support myself in the arts without relying on other people's generosity.

This has been a very sad week. Yesterday afternoon I received an e-mail from the daughter one of my private teachers saying that he has passed away...

Although I have only studied with him for a short period of time - about six months - I feel as if I have lost one of my best friends. He owned and operated a musical instrument repair business for nearly 30 years, and agreed to take me on as an apprentice over the summer. I feel very fortunate to have studied with him. I feel as I have learned so much in the process. He was a genuine person, and one of the nicest people I have ever met.

Ten days ago we went out for margaritas after working on a saxophone all afternoon, during which we talked about ways of expanding the business in Tallahassee. Now the business is closing it's doors... I wish I could help keep it alive, but I'm just not experienced enough to even attempt that sort of pursuit.

I have no idea how he died. I hope he went peacefully in his sleep. I'm not certain, but I think he was only 59 years old. It's such a sad time. Rest in peace, my friend.

I really wish I was up in Connecticut for the holidays. I haven't seen snow in years!

I Am Legend probably isn't the best movie to watch when you're alone and haven't seen anyone you know in a week. At least I still have my cats to keep me company.

My life has been a roller coaster lately. I've passed through all of it unscathed so far. Thank god. Just a few more twists and turns until I can get off this ride... No more roller coasters for me, that's for sure.

I've been waiting for an important e-mail at my computer all afternoon, often refreshing the Inbox several times an hour. I should probably go out and buy a Blackberry (aka: Crack-berry) later this month. Maybe it'll break this addiction I've had for my laptop lately.

Tonight as I was walking up to the Shelter to volunteer I ran into a homeless family outside of the building. One of the children was a sixth-grade girl, and she was playing a clarinet! She was pretty good, and seemed really excited to be playing!

I was so happy to see this!

I talked to her for a few minutes, and then went inside to start my shift. Each night I sit at a desk and help one of the staff members check people in for five hours. I'm simply amazed at how many people live at the Leon County Shelter. On any given night there are about 160 men and 60 women/families in the building. Unfortunately, due to limited space - about 80 beds, several people sleep on mats on the floor of the dining area at night. It's incredibly tight in there, too. Some nights 10 - 20 of the men have to sleep outside after they've checked in simply because there is no room to sleep on the floor of the facility.

About two hours into tonight's shift I approached the mother of the girl who was playing clarinet outside and offered to give her free clarinet lessons once a week for the rest of the year. I figured that if the family was staying at a shelter, they definitely didn't have the funds to hire a private teacher. At the same time, I really wanted to give her the opportunity to have some quality instruction on her instrument at a young age.

I really hope her mother calls me to schedule a weekly time. It would mean a lot to me.

I can get through Steady Study on the Boogie without stopping now. It's 20 pages of multiphonics, circular breathing, slap tonguing, and flutter tonguing on saxophone. Too bad it's 96 bpm under tempo at the moment. I'll get there.

I doubt anyone really cares, but I've been practicing more than I've been sleeping lately... I'm not trying to brag. It's quite the opposite, actually. Don't get me wrong.. I enjoy my work, and I've always been optimistic that it will get me somewhere at some point in my life.

Lately I've been practicing to pass the time. Six hours of practice... that's six hours that I don't have to sit around waiting for someone to call, six hours closer to the day that I can leave Florida for winter break. It's another six hours closer to the doctoral auditions that I've had on my mind since 2005. It's time that I've dedicated to my future.

It's also time that I've spent away from friends. Many of the people that I've met in the past year probably feel that this is all there is to know about me. I'd like to change that. I'm trying to reach out more, mostly to people whom I never really got a chance to know here in Tallahasse, whom I greatly admire in one way or another. As a musician, friend, or in any number of ways. There are several people here who I wish I had gotten to know better last year.


P.S. Red wine, cheese, and a good book is a fantastic way to end your night.

Sometime later this week I'm going to scan a page of the music I'm trying to learn for my DMA auditions in February and post it on here. It's pretty daunting.. I'm not sure that I'll be able to pull it off.

I decided today that from now on I'm not going to be afraid to go after what I want in life anymore. It's better to know that you tried and failed, than to wonder what might have been for the rest of your life. Who knows... I might not fail.

I got some very positive feedback from a potential DMA school today. I'm not giving any details. Let's just say that it's very good news.

Most of the transcripts are out now too. Relatively painless process so far.

The applications are done, and not a moment too soon. Unfortunately, I had to take the day off from practicing in order to get everything mailed out on time.